Looking forward to..

I have been invited to attend WMC this year in Miami. It is not set in stone but I really hope I can come up with enough money in time to attend. Yuka will hopefully be joining me in the humid city and also in Coachella. I have never been to either so I am really excited to travel to both places.

I am going to make some changes to my hair next week in preparation for both, I am going to be lightening it to a dirty blonde/ very light brown color. Im really excited i just hope my hair doesnt turn out feeling all gross. I am also planning on getting a bathing suit made to match my new hair, I have already designed it so watch out all you AA bathing suit wearers, I will be on the prowl.

Cancelled.

So the game tomorrow has been moved to next saturday and I am on schedule to work that day. Idunno if im gonna make it. Such a let down.

Back In The Day.

So this saturday I am having an alumni game with my high school softball team. Im really excited about it because it only happens once a year. Hopefully this time around there will be alot more players.

If any of you happen to be walking melrose on saturday around 2 stop by fairfax high and cheer for me.

More photos to come from the game and night out afterwards.

Meet Ryan Sox Cirelli.

She is so amazingly cute I dont even know what to do with myself. NO ONE will EVER take her away from me.

Beautiful Things.

Got up early, found something’s missing
My only name
No one else sees, but I got stuck
And soon forever came
Stopped pushing on for just a second
Then nothing’s changed
Who am I this time, where's my name?
Guess it crept away

No one's calling for me at the door
And unpredictable won't bother anymore
And silently gets harder to ignore

Look straight ahead, there’s nothing left to see
What’s done is done, this life has got its hold on me
Just let it go, what now can never be

I forgot that I might see
So many beautiful things
I forgot that I might need
To find out what life could bring

Beautiful things

Take this happy ending away
It's all the same
God won't waste this simplicity
On possibility
Get me up, wake me up, dreams are filling
This trace of blame
Frozen still I thought I could stop
Now who's gonna wait?

No one's calling for me at the door
And unpredictable won't bother anymore
And silently gets harder to ignore

Look straight ahead, there’s nothing left to see
What’s done is done, this life has got its hold on me
Just let it go, what now can never be

So many beautiful things
So many beautiful things

Now what do I do?
Can I change my mind?
Did I think things through?
It was once my life
It was my life at one time

I Hate You Bella Swan.

I'm sure Bella is the envy of nearly every girl on the face of the earth. She has two amazing guys that not only want her but are "irrevocably in love" with her. Twilight has taken over my life these past few months, it came in at the perfect time where I needed some thing romantic to latch on to. I honestly don't even pay attention to the fact that they are vampires, I just envy how well taken care of she is, or watched over. With the exception of James in the first one, nothing of any kind is ever going to harm Bella for the rest of her life. She has all she needs, the Cullen's are beyond rich, she never has to work for any thing, but most importantly she has some one who would rather die than live with out her. If only men like Edward Cullen really existed, imagine it for one second. Impeccably dressed, down to earth, caring, respectful and most importantly worships the ground you walk on. She is some how torn between Edward and Jacob, WTF? Yes, Jacob was there for her when Edward left and he was her best friend, well keep it that way. I hate to say it but I am totally on Team Edward, you can honestly just tell that he loves her with all of his might just by the way that he looks at her. I wish some one would look at me so badly in that same way that it is disgusting. The world would be a far better place if men like Edward Cullen actually existed. It angers me that people are no longer polite or respectful in any way any more, I know I'm not really one to talk because I burp and curse like a sailor but I'm working on it. Back to my point, I hate Bella. She doesn't realize what she has. Every time Edward tries to give her some thing she freaks out, shes stubborn, and can hardly speak a complete sentence with out stuttering.

Confession: I do not find Robert Pattinson too attractive, its more of his character in the film. When they revealed his chest in the second film I was repulsed. His face is adorable though, but a little too pale for me. None the less I have fallen in love with Edward and hope some day I find some one who respects and loves me and much as he respects and loves Bella. I have never seen a man so happy with a woman before in my life, the funny thing is that shes borderline retarded and he still loves her.

Christmukkah.

So this year was the first year that I have actually been some what alone for the holidays. Surprisingly I had a small break down this morning. Even though I have amazing friends who I know love me, its just not the same as going through the routine and tradition that you have gone through with your family. Due to a lack of respect on both sides, my family and I are no longer in each others lives. This marks the third Christmas I have spent with out them and the first two I dealt with miraculously but this year, due to the lack of a certain some one it has been a lot harder for me than before. Last year was mostly about building new traditions and my own family but for apparent reasons this season has been way rougher around the edges.

Despite my internal turmoil I have taken the time out to think about the things I am thankful for, rather than be upset about the things I don't have. I realized that the thing I have always wanted the most in my life is a family that loves and supports me no matter what I choose. I can and will one day make my own family but for the time being I am just thankful for the people I surround myself with.

Valerie: you are my best friend. I genuinely appreciate having you in my life. We share so many things with each other such as day to day experiences, advice and even clothes, haha. We have both gone through tremendous heart break recently and i'm so glad that we have each other to lean on. I honestly dont know what i would do with out you. You quickly became a sister to me and im so glad we met. You and waynie make me feel complete. 2010 will be and incredible year for us, im just glad I will have you by my side to tackle it.

Yuka: This year has definitely brought us closer together, and I am so thankful to have you as a great friend. We have had so many laughs this year and I cant wait for more to come. I have learned so many things from you and appreciate all the comfort you have given me in times of need. I love you, bitch.

Michael: I know we haven't known each other for the longest amount of time but you were truly there for me when I felt alone in the world. We have had our ups and downs but no matter what happens I know we will be great friends.

Things might seem terrible in life all the time, but just remember to be thankful for what you have. There are definitely people far worse off than you are with far more problems. I try to remind myself during tough times that I am blessed; Im not going hungry, I have a home, and even though i loose sight of it some times I genuinely do have people who love me.

Merry Christmas.