I Hate You Bella Swan.

I'm sure Bella is the envy of nearly every girl on the face of the earth. She has two amazing guys that not only want her but are "irrevocably in love" with her. Twilight has taken over my life these past few months, it came in at the perfect time where I needed some thing romantic to latch on to. I honestly don't even pay attention to the fact that they are vampires, I just envy how well taken care of she is, or watched over. With the exception of James in the first one, nothing of any kind is ever going to harm Bella for the rest of her life. She has all she needs, the Cullen's are beyond rich, she never has to work for any thing, but most importantly she has some one who would rather die than live with out her. If only men like Edward Cullen really existed, imagine it for one second. Impeccably dressed, down to earth, caring, respectful and most importantly worships the ground you walk on. She is some how torn between Edward and Jacob, WTF? Yes, Jacob was there for her when Edward left and he was her best friend, well keep it that way. I hate to say it but I am totally on Team Edward, you can honestly just tell that he loves her with all of his might just by the way that he looks at her. I wish some one would look at me so badly in that same way that it is disgusting. The world would be a far better place if men like Edward Cullen actually existed. It angers me that people are no longer polite or respectful in any way any more, I know I'm not really one to talk because I burp and curse like a sailor but I'm working on it. Back to my point, I hate Bella. She doesn't realize what she has. Every time Edward tries to give her some thing she freaks out, shes stubborn, and can hardly speak a complete sentence with out stuttering.

Confession: I do not find Robert Pattinson too attractive, its more of his character in the film. When they revealed his chest in the second film I was repulsed. His face is adorable though, but a little too pale for me. None the less I have fallen in love with Edward and hope some day I find some one who respects and loves me and much as he respects and loves Bella. I have never seen a man so happy with a woman before in my life, the funny thing is that shes borderline retarded and he still loves her.

Christmukkah.

So this year was the first year that I have actually been some what alone for the holidays. Surprisingly I had a small break down this morning. Even though I have amazing friends who I know love me, its just not the same as going through the routine and tradition that you have gone through with your family. Due to a lack of respect on both sides, my family and I are no longer in each others lives. This marks the third Christmas I have spent with out them and the first two I dealt with miraculously but this year, due to the lack of a certain some one it has been a lot harder for me than before. Last year was mostly about building new traditions and my own family but for apparent reasons this season has been way rougher around the edges.

Despite my internal turmoil I have taken the time out to think about the things I am thankful for, rather than be upset about the things I don't have. I realized that the thing I have always wanted the most in my life is a family that loves and supports me no matter what I choose. I can and will one day make my own family but for the time being I am just thankful for the people I surround myself with.

Valerie: you are my best friend. I genuinely appreciate having you in my life. We share so many things with each other such as day to day experiences, advice and even clothes, haha. We have both gone through tremendous heart break recently and i'm so glad that we have each other to lean on. I honestly dont know what i would do with out you. You quickly became a sister to me and im so glad we met. You and waynie make me feel complete. 2010 will be and incredible year for us, im just glad I will have you by my side to tackle it.

Yuka: This year has definitely brought us closer together, and I am so thankful to have you as a great friend. We have had so many laughs this year and I cant wait for more to come. I have learned so many things from you and appreciate all the comfort you have given me in times of need. I love you, bitch.

Michael: I know we haven't known each other for the longest amount of time but you were truly there for me when I felt alone in the world. We have had our ups and downs but no matter what happens I know we will be great friends.

Things might seem terrible in life all the time, but just remember to be thankful for what you have. There are definitely people far worse off than you are with far more problems. I try to remind myself during tough times that I am blessed; Im not going hungry, I have a home, and even though i loose sight of it some times I genuinely do have people who love me.

Merry Christmas.

The Gold Room Is My Saviour.

So last friday we had an unexpected ladies night. It started off at some like loft/warehouse party. We had a serious photo session. It was cute because there was a bunch of bike mafia photos on the walls that my friend Bitta did of the crew. We got bored quickly and made our way to echo park to the Gold room. It is definitely my favorite bar and brings out the beaner in me.

Music Videos.. What Happened To Them?

When I was younger I used to watch MTV religiously. Due to the reality tv take over I never really watch music videos anymore. To be honest I don't even think MTV plays music videos anymore. Here are some of my favorites from back in the day. Things are about to get sexual, brace yourself.

Linkin Park- Breaking The Habit
The Used- The Taste Of Ink
Brand New- Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades
Taking Back Sunday- Cute With Out The E
Incubus- Drive
The Starting Line- Best Of Me
Box Car Racer- There Is
Coheed And Cambria- A Favor House Atlantic
The Strokes- Hard To Explain
Jennifer Lopez- Waiting For Tonight
Britney Spears- Baby One More Time
Britney Spears- Crazy
Britney Spears- Slave 4 U
Christina Aguilera- Genie In A Bottle

Hate, Hate, Hate.

Holiday, Schmoliday.

On saturday night I attended a Christmas party with Valerie in downtown. It was held at her co-worker Jed's fantastic loft that I couldn't help but fall in love with. I honestly loved how he and his girl friend Jillian decorated their home, it wasn't too modern or too twilighty either, it was just right. There little toys every where, he also built many things in the apartment, my favorite was a box that held his t.v. in place on a rail. Pabst, Vodka, and snazzy alcohol made the party but the deviled eggs made it worth my while even though they smelled like a gas chamber filled with human gas. There was also some pretty fashionable people in attendance, specially in the guys department, very edward cullen-esque outfits, I was all about it. Now, every one thought I was being a downer because I was sitting by myself and not mingling like a normal person would but for the record I honestly did have a great time and I am glad I went, there was tons of eye candy for me to look at.

Neil Favila.

Did a shoot with Neil. There were a lot more photos, I'm not really sure where he's hiding them. Kali did my amazing make up that I didnt want to take off. I wish I had her around every day to make me feel pretty.

Hair Did.

A couple of weeks ago I modeled in a hair show for the fabulous Miss Audra Tong. Her vision for me was to add in 22 inch extensions and have a straight layered look, the day of the show she decided to go with curls. I had my good friend Yuka style me for the show and the finished product looked a lot like a female version of captain hook.