Christmukkah.

So this year was the first year that I have actually been some what alone for the holidays. Surprisingly I had a small break down this morning. Even though I have amazing friends who I know love me, its just not the same as going through the routine and tradition that you have gone through with your family. Due to a lack of respect on both sides, my family and I are no longer in each others lives. This marks the third Christmas I have spent with out them and the first two I dealt with miraculously but this year, due to the lack of a certain some one it has been a lot harder for me than before. Last year was mostly about building new traditions and my own family but for apparent reasons this season has been way rougher around the edges.

Despite my internal turmoil I have taken the time out to think about the things I am thankful for, rather than be upset about the things I don't have. I realized that the thing I have always wanted the most in my life is a family that loves and supports me no matter what I choose. I can and will one day make my own family but for the time being I am just thankful for the people I surround myself with.

Valerie: you are my best friend. I genuinely appreciate having you in my life. We share so many things with each other such as day to day experiences, advice and even clothes, haha. We have both gone through tremendous heart break recently and i'm so glad that we have each other to lean on. I honestly dont know what i would do with out you. You quickly became a sister to me and im so glad we met. You and waynie make me feel complete. 2010 will be and incredible year for us, im just glad I will have you by my side to tackle it.

Yuka: This year has definitely brought us closer together, and I am so thankful to have you as a great friend. We have had so many laughs this year and I cant wait for more to come. I have learned so many things from you and appreciate all the comfort you have given me in times of need. I love you, bitch.

Michael: I know we haven't known each other for the longest amount of time but you were truly there for me when I felt alone in the world. We have had our ups and downs but no matter what happens I know we will be great friends.

Things might seem terrible in life all the time, but just remember to be thankful for what you have. There are definitely people far worse off than you are with far more problems. I try to remind myself during tough times that I am blessed; Im not going hungry, I have a home, and even though i loose sight of it some times I genuinely do have people who love me.

Merry Christmas.